love-stoned.

2010-02-14T13:05:00.002+08:00

MOVED!

from party animal to housewife material. check out my new entries about life as a mummy.

2009-11-01T13:57:00.003+08:00

time is just passing too damn fast. especially with the little one, it just gets faster. and it's november already. how quick is that. and next thing i know, the baby will start walking. anyways, i was reading some past posts and just thought to myself, "how life has changed!". i was partying almost EVERYDAY around this time last year. but now, i'm pumping my breast every 3 hours. :)

in fact, yesterday marked the first year both of us met for the first time properly. even if it was just over a cigarette where we were both drunk on halloween and a little more grinding session before we headed our separate ways. but now, the tables have turned and in fact, we're loving each other more and more each day, and i won't deny that.

before i continue, to all those who are going to comment or say things like, "wah, so fast dah kawin, ade anak, blah2!" i don't need that. just shut your fucktard mouths and accept that we are happy and grateful to have each other. your words are just very the tak perlu ok.

back to my story, which i can't remember what i want to say, i'm loving my life right now. just watching the little one puts a wide smile on my face. i love the 2 men in my life more than ever. period.

and and, (i remember now!) reading my past post which i had written before the new years bout my resolutions got me thinking and realising that i actually accomplished more that what i thought i would.

i'm happy with what i am and with him by my side; and i'm definitely glad that i made you.

xoxo,

mrs zakiran

PS: life is full of surprises. love is full of sacrifices. ♥

2009-10-23T12:47:00.003+08:00

my little "party animal" loves to make me stay up with him the whole night and starts his wayang the minute i put him down. but all's good and i love him more than anything in this world.

TTYL

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-10-14T06:00:00.002+08:00

he's finally out!

name: danique raphael muhammad zakiran
birthday: 14th oct 2009
time: 0111hrs
weight: 2.425kg
length: 48cm

will update more later. I need rest.

2009-10-12T14:53:00.002+08:00

the wait is almost over. I'm finally popping tomorrow or the day after. depending on how long he would take to make his grand entrance. and I'm so freaking anxious and nervous and everything. the thought of labour is defintely killing me softly. so this is how it'll go, later at 2am, I'll be put in drips to open up my cervix since I'm still closed. and depending on how my body reacts to the prostine, you should probably hear my screams by noon. and then jeng jeng jeng!

so till tomorrow, whoever who wants to visit, I'll facebook the ward and bed number. for now, I'll update when possible. I'm currently waiting for dinner to be served. I'm fat and heavy but I can't help it that I'm hungry.

thank you and good night.

I shall go read on how to breastfeed.

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-10-07T10:29:00.002+08:00

I finally feel fresh and clean after 2 days of just laying in bed. I finally managed a long hot bath and the feeling is just awesome. I hate being stuck in hospital! the food is horrible. the people are noisy and the atmosphere is just deadly. and to add to it, it seems that everybody around me has had their baby except me! which is super fucking depressing. the little one just refuses to make his appearance. no contractions, no loss of mucus plug, no bloody show. just a fucking bad ache at my lower back, strain on my pelvic bone and abdominal pain which is brushed aside. apart from that, the doctors haven't even checked for dilation. instead they collected 24hrs of my pee for testing. and every morning, they just give me high hopes that I can go home the next day. do you feel my frustration already?

thank you and good night.

2009-09-24T08:11:00.002+08:00

finally, fasting month is over and syawal is here. to all, selamat hari raye. I seek your forgiveness in my doings which may have hurt you in any way. maaf zahir dan batin. jgn lupe jemput datang rumah beraya. :)

and since sunday, I have been busy feasting on the kuihs that have been laid out, till the better had to tell me to stop. but all's good. just the throat. on the other hand, it's been a wonderful experience celebrating raye as a muslim. I actually know how to weave a ketupat already la! and it's been more than awesome. but sadly, I've not visited as much homes for I'm expecting and I'm kinda refrained from visiting anybody from his father's side. period.

but on a lighter note, I'm due in exactly one month from today. but I've gotta feeling that this boy is coming early. and I'm expecting him to make his grand appearance early October. which is less than 2 weeeks from now. in fact, I'm only 10 days from full term. which means, anytime from then! and I'm really starting to freak out. I'm just hoping for a healthy baby and nothing else matters. :)

will update you people after monday's appointment.

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-09-14T13:33:00.000+08:00

I've come to a point where I wish this child would just pop! for 9 months I haven't actually shopped for myself and heading to town yesterday just made things much worst. I want my unpregnant body back so that I can wear all this nice clothes there is to be worn! and it's just so frustrating to know that you want them items but the tummy is in the way that I just want to stay home for the next 3 weeks till I'm ripe enough to deliver. and in fact I think I haven't got a wardrobe change in months. and with raye in 6 days, I hope I'm still able to fit into my baju. arghhhh!

on a lighter note, thanks to those who got me presents for the little one. let's just hope he comes early. :)

2009-09-09T23:37:00.002+08:00

i can't wait for the little one to come out so that i can enjoy not being pregnant. this pregnancy is really eating me up. my back hurts, my tummy is super huge. i can't go places and i'm so restless all the damn time.

anyways, i miss bali.
when i was not pregnant. :(

another 4 weeks melanie.
be patient.

TTYL.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-09-03T23:59:00.001+08:00

i'm huge and i just can't stop eating. :)

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-08-28T18:10:00.000+08:00

oh my god la ok. time is passing so damn fast. today is my 8th monthsary with the better half. i'm almost 32 weeks into this pregnancy and i got married a month and 2 days ago. and on a lighter note, i was just viewing photos from the past and exactly one year ago, i was a mad party whore and now i'm said to be irritating cause i'm so motherly. thanks ah samantha.

and and, it's 3 weeks to raye! i have barely been fasting cause of the little one. but i'm so so looking forward to honey cereal cookies and all the good food and candies set on the table. yay yay! :))))

and next thing i know i will be old and wrinkly and have 2 kids running around the house while i yell at them non-stop. (ok, i think i'm going to far.)

but anyways, life has been good. the love has been treating me well. despite his night shifts being in the way, we still take the time to cuddle up and talk about life and stupid things like how he gave his indian friend dengdeng and called me only after that fella took a bite to ask if it was 'dageng' or 'lembu'. i'm loving him a hell lot and it ain't stopping there. we've got a lifetime together. and things have been going great lately. let's just hope things will stay the same when the junior arrives. *cross fingers.*

"love, i suddenly am thinking of you and i wanna say that i love you so much. you're the best thing that happened to me. i'm sorry if i make a fuss about money and stuff. i'll work hard for you. for us. love you bebe."

and i definitely love you too. and you know that. ♥

2009-08-21T17:46:00.000+08:00

blogger is just so irritating. i can't seem to post properly with all the icons gone. anyways, i'm back from bali and i am very much burnt! i'm currently black and peeling and dry and disgusting. and very much itching which is not at all funny.

anyhows, bali was awesome. despite it being our third trip there in 8 months, we had fun. loads of fun. from the partying to the road trips to the shopping and the kickass king kong burger and ice cream and not forgetting the beach and waterbom. and i kinda miss that place already.

and yes, if you're wondering and thinking if i partied, yes i did. if sitting in a club and looking after drinks and cigarettes and taking photos are considered, then most definitely i had a great time despite the big tummy drawing stares.

but with the tummy in the way, i couldn't do loads. the rides at waterbom were a pass for me, the alcohol was a no-no and so many things were just in the way. even walking took a toll as i got tired easily. but well well, it was still in the name of fun and i will bring the little one with me on the next trip.

with just less than 10 weeks left, i still haven't got his things and i definitly can't wait to go shopping with the better half for bodysuits and diapers and bottles. :)))

on a lighter note, happy fasting all.

i just have not got any inspiration to type no more.

TTYL.

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-08-03T22:49:00.002+08:00

and less than a week to bali! i'm so so excited. let's just hope i have a safe trip and that the little one be nice and not pop anytime soon, especially when i'm there. :)

on the other hand, the love and i have been deciding on new names for the junior.

danique raphael or danique rowell?

opinions people! :))

anyways, i'm off to bed now.

good night world.

xoxo,

mrs zakiran

2009-07-28T18:28:00.004+08:00

the day came and went so quickly. i'm now officially married.

7 months ago on this very day, we got together in the most crazy way. and i wouldn't say it was the most romantic but weirdest way and it felt rather awkward. he knows it better. hah. and i won't go into details now. maybe next time.

but on a happier note, we are now both man and wife. and we obviously don't feel awkward with each other anymore and i'm definitely loving him more each and everyday. :)

and because i don't have time to load each and every photo of the nikkah, you can go to the following link at the bottom. and those are from my camera. i will try and upload his soon.

and and, i would definitely want to thank those who took the time to come for our nikkah. i really really appreciate your presence. no words can describe how thankful i am. again, thank you.

now, back to my housewife duties.

TTYL.

xoxo,

mrs zakiran

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=127806&id=718334873&l=ca3527d099

2009-07-23T14:34:00.004+08:00

3 more days till i lose my singlehood forever!

as much as i'm excited. i'm starting to get cold feet with all the fears and mad fights and arguments that we can possibly encounter in our marriage.

anyways, on a very happier note, the love and i has got our lucky star shining on us. we got the ballot for flat selection this 6th august and i am super excited and hopeful that we get what we are eyeing on. *fingers crossed.*

TTYL.

xoxo,

princess melanie

2009-07-22T15:15:00.003+08:00

4 days till i'm officially mrs zakiran. :)))

the love and i were texting this morning and this is what it turned out to be.

him: i had nightmare last night that you got to know this guy and you went with him. haish. i'm paranoid-ing.
me: hahahaha. what's worst that dreaming you had 6 gfs? Muhammad Zakiran, i love you more than anything in this world. even more than the grains of sand on this earth. and i'm never gonna do anything to break your heart or bring us apart. you are like my tetek. always a part of me. :)
him: hahaha. and you are like my cock hair. always growing even though dah kena shave. which means love always growing even though we quarrel regularly.

LOL. ni la. our love story. touching eh?

and news bout the little creation, he has been kicking me non-stop till my tummy is feeling like a pop corn machine. and 14 more weeks. :))))

and to all whom i have informed with regards to my nikah this sunday, i'm definitely looking forward to seeing you. and to those whom haven't heard anything, please don't be affected. i will definitely invite you for my sanding. it's just that his house is too small for me to invite everybody given that his relatives is already as much as an entire kampung.

and on a even happier note, i'm going for the ndp preview this saturdayyyyy! yay yay! :)))

TTYL.

you know you love me.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-07-18T14:20:00.001+08:00

I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF!

it's because of YOU! YOU! AND YOU!

2009-07-15T00:25:00.002+08:00

i'm currently still recovering from the fact that the love is having his outfield training and he is not able to call me cause his screwed up iphone is currently connected to malaysia's maxis network which is bloooodyy fucked. just 3 more days melanie. :(((

since i am currently doing nothing on a daily basis, and am just wasting my time at home. i decided to head out to town to look for gifts for the hantaran. and i'm glad it helps me past my time in a good way. and i just can't wait to lay them out during the nikah knowing that all those were my hardwork.

well, on a not so lighter note, the next few days are going to be busy with only 11 days left. i'm getting my baju tomorrow with his mom. then on thursday i have got an appointment at KKH after which i am intending to rush to ikea to grab all those furniture requiring deliver and get them paid so by sunday the important stuffs would have been fixed up. on friday, i'll be awaiting my man's return. on saturday, we'll need to return to ikea to grab the other items and on sunday, be at home to finish up the room arrangements and painting. and then, we're left with a week to settle the hantaran gifts.

but, i really am hoping to finish up everything smoothly given my currently huge tummy. i really feel like a ball 99% of the time. and which, 80% of my time, i can't seem to sit up straight.

our little creation:

danique raphael bin muhammad zakiran

TTYL

xoxo,

princess melanie

2009-07-09T01:15:00.002+08:00

my man is currently away serving his national reservist whilst i'm ill and am on mc for the past week. work will officially end on friday afternoon when i return to one raffles quay for the last time to bid goodbye and sign all papers. the past 1.5 years was a helleva experience with its ups and downs. and i would miss it somehow. but on a brighter note, i need not drag myself to work every morning anymore. :))))

and and, the days have been passing really really quickly. and it's kinda scaring me.

7 days to my next doctor's checkup.

17 days till i become somebody's wife.

18 days till i move in with him.

31 days till i feel the bali breeze again.

38 days till i go for another U/S.

and and soon soon, the junior will pop out. :))

which, i'm really really excited for. i can't wait to carry him in my arms and spank him in the ass for kicking too much all these while. LOL!

but whilst, i laze around at home till the man returns, i should look for bedroom furniture.

good night world.

and to all of you who have been wondering, i am officially a muslim as of 28th June 2009.

xoxo,

pereira melanie dulcie @ shiasta mikaela abdullah

2009-06-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

i am bored fucked and nobody wants to answer my phone calls. arghhh.

last night was the start of my new life ahead. the parents met. it all ended on a good note. i hope. and bf, don't fret too much. i'll help you through this. i promise. and all i ask is for your love, respect, trust and most importantly patience.

and on a very happy note, today is a fridayyyyy! :)))

i can't wait to see you.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-06-22T14:56:00.000+08:00

i am so waiting for the day this rascal pops out of me. he has been twisting and turning and doing all sorts in my tummy. till sometimes i feel nausea. and it can get irritating!

anyways, its 47 days till the wedding and i'm starting to freak. we still have got loads to do. many to buy and the list just won't stop. i'm excited for this. and so is he. i hope. :)

and the weekend was not so great with so many things on our list and some bitch had to ruin it. but then again, it took two hands to clap. it was both person's fault. i ain't taking sides. but i'm glad we're better now and i just am hoping to be as patient and calm in the years to come.

on a lighter note, work has been eating me up. i just get so fucking restless all the damn time and the feeling just sucks. i pretend to have work to do but all that's in my mind is the counting down to 6.15pm so that i can take my leave and get the hell out of my chair. and it has become a bore! it's just crazy.

17 more working days melanie. sabarrrrr!

so anyways, i was thinking of putting up my tagboard in hope that all those hate-taggers would have fucked off by now. but we'll see bout that. maybe by this weekend if i am not too busy.

that's all for now.

you know you love me.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-06-17T12:45:00.001+08:00

and and, i'm going to bali in august.

woot woot! i'm supercalifuckingliciously sexcited. :))

2009-06-17T11:12:00.002+08:00

It's a boy!

and i've been in smiles since i found out the gender on monday. i'm expecting my first son. and i can't wait to shop for baby stuffs. samantha is planning a baby shower and nicole, my bachelorette party. *kening naik naik* where the strippers at?! :)

everything has been running smoothly. i hope. *cross fingers* mum and dad has kinda approved my conversion despite their disappointment. i've been attending courses about marriage and islam and the fear of being in a lifetime commitment just kills me. but i just got to bring myself to my 2 feet and face it. and it's not easy.

but on a lighter note, i'm excited to go through all these. with time flying so fast, the next thing i know, i'm be trying to handle 2 kids. hahaha. and i'm definitely hoping not. pregnancy is not nice. the pain, the emotions, the restlessness and the feeling of being tired all the time just feels horrible. so play safe. sex is an enjoyment. pregnancy is not.

so well well, its 11 days till melanie becomes a muslim which she somewhat thinks she is not ready yet. and then will come my last day on my job on 15th July. then we will be busy planning the solemnization and the wedding on his side which is said to be 8th august.

and then i will be married. OMG!
and then i will be living with him. OMG!

and then and then, i'll be in labour sometime in october and then comes my side of the wedding with my junior in my arms. and i hope and pray and hope and pray that all runs well.

for now, i should stop crying myself to bed. i need to be strong.

you know you love me.
and i know it too.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-06-12T18:13:00.002+08:00

and because i won't be meeting the love tonight. i shall stay home and paint my nails whilst i can still reach them. :))

you know you love me!

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-06-12T17:41:00.003+08:00

i'm having the most horrible 2 weeks of my life. and i do not like it at all.

yanni boy, i miss the fuck out of you. and before i complain to MOM about how your workplace do not give you enough time to spend me, you better do something about it.

AGHHHH.

and on a happier note, i'm excited for monday!

i want a baby boyyyyy! :)))

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-06-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN!

as much as i may detest you most of the time. you are still my father. :)

xoxo,

your angels

2009-06-05T12:13:00.002+08:00

my mind's made up. i'll be doing this. life has been full of drama that it can become a movie already. but whether my parents approve or not, which i really hope they do, we're getting married.

a mistake has been made on our part and in order for all things to run smoothly, i have to give in. and mum, dad, like it or not, i'm sorry. but i'm doing it. maybe you'll open your eyes later on in life. and accept me back.

everybody makes mistakes. but converting is no sin. i've seen too much divorces and pain and confusion a child has been through to think twice. i know what i do is right. i'll face him in time to come. for now, i seek your forgiveness. but i won't blame you if you both hate me. i'll just pray that you attend my wedding.

and june is here.
i'll be converting to islam on the 28th. and i'm looking forward to see everyone on 8th August. the invites will be out july end.

and to loverboy, for you.

I know they wanna come and separate us but they can't do us nothin
Your the one I want and I'm a continue lovin
Cause your considered wifey and I'm considered husband
And I'm a always be there for you
And either way you look at it I ain't goin no where from my muffin
Cause she gonna hold it down, cant no body tell her nothin
You got the kind of love that always make up after fussin
And that's what gets me closer to you

And no one knows
Why I'm into you
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes
And no one knows, the things we've been through
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through
That's why we'll break through

And I don't care what they say
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I wanna be with you
And I don't care what they do
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you

Seems like every day that go by things are gettin harder
Want to be the one that give you the whole enchilada
Cause I know what my baby like, ?? that Prada
Louis bag to match with the shoes
All about knowing you I'm into doing things to keep her longer
Stickin together forever, watch it grow stronger
That's the way it has to be, everything proper
Keepin it always true

You are everything in my life see the joy you bring
And ain't no one I can compare you to
And I know that you will never walk away from me no matter what
And that's why I plan to do the same thing for you
And I want you to know

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-26T13:48:00.002+08:00

i have been busy. busy spending every moment i can with the babylove. and watching gossip girl.

the past weekends have been awesome, we had a picnic at the botanical gardens 2 weeks back, we headed for the redbull bike thingy held at singapore flyer, we had a pig-out at east coast and a night at the museum 2 last week. and we spent all our money on the darn arcade who sucks us dry all the damn time! its either daytona, trying to scoop sweets, catch a soft toy or our new favourite: mario race kart. :)))

despite the ugly fight we had last week, all's good and i'm loving that fella more and more each day and sometimes i can just sit and imagine and think and just laugh at our random moments. and as funny as it seems, i seem to have changed to be a better person. for him, for myself and for the 3 of us.

as our 5th month approaches, i'm super looking forward to many many more. and to always look on the bright side and what's ahead of us. cause sometimes, you never know what lies ahead. like how i never knew this boy would be the love of my life. and it shocks me sometimes, in a good way though.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-19T12:40:00.003+08:00

MY PLAN IS TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.
forgive myself for being stupid.
& forget you ever existed.

i've been through too much.

cause without you,
i won't die.
i will survive.
and tears won't be falling down my eyes every night.

I NEED TO PUT A STOP TO THE WAY YOU TREAT ME!

and you should be thankful that i'm still answering your calls.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-18T17:07:00.002+08:00

the cravings has started.

from durian to chips to sour plum and anything salty. i'm heading straight to NTUC this evening for cravings-satisfying shopping.

for now, i'm very very very hungry.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-17T23:50:00.001+08:00

i'm depressed.

my bf is a pain in the ass and micheal scofield is dead which means no more prison break, i think. :((

sorry to spoil your ending.

good night.

2009-05-14T16:12:00.003+08:00

it's another 2 hours before i knock off from work but it seems like forever. i'll be heading to bugis for some shopping before heading to town for ANGELS and DEMONS with the little sister, the love and sunshineboy! hahahaha.

anyways, i'm officially a 4 month prego as of yesterday. and i'm proud of it. despite not showing full force yet(except for the extra large boobs), i'm starting to feel the tummy stretch and the feeling is irritatingggggg! very soon, i'll be feeling his kicks. and and and, i so can't wait for the 15th next month, i want to know the gender! and i'm crossing-my-fingers that it's a boy! :)

and by next month, everything's gonna start moving so fast. i'll be leaving my job sometime in july, the love has his reservist then and the list goes on. i'm just hoping for a smooth transition into everything given our bitchfit these few days which is so so irritatingggg.

but all's good now and i'm hoping for the better.

"bebe, i love you so much. i'm really sorry for the things i've done and said. you've been through alot for me, for us and for the baby. i love you and i appreciate the things you have done."

he just text me this, and i'm this close to tears.

ILY.

xoxo,
your angel

2009-05-12T17:42:00.004+08:00

i've been very very lazy to update despite my super long weekend. i was MC on thursday & friday simply because i was lazy to get my ass up for work.

on a thursday, the nice doctor gave me 2 days of mc la oi! happy or whatttt! but i was penniless afterwhich. therefore i decided to shut my mouth up and not make noise about wanting to head out. instead i got hooked on prisonbreak and spent the entire days watching episode 1 to 20 of season 4. and i realised that scofield is getting fatter by the episodes, which makes sucre more delicious. :)))

so i can't remember if i headed out on thursday. which i doubt. i can't remember if i headed out on a friday or saturday night to town.

but i spent one of the nights watching "the uninvited" at town with the love and the other amin-braloverboy. hahaha. and somewhat i'm guessing is a friday cause i was bluffing the love bout how i was going to head to wwf since he didn't want to go out with me. sampai member trus tak nak bebual. hahaha.

anyways, so if i headed out on friday, i stayed home on saturday to watch prisonbreak and i watched the hannah montana movie, ramen girl, obsessed and another one which i can't recalled. i was like literally marathon-ing at home since the love was tired and i was on a stay home mood. blooody haitus!

then i finally slept at 4 plus, got my ass up at 11, completed the last episode of prisonbreak(semangat nak mampos!) and got my ass out for classes. and the love and i headed for botanic gardens on after that. then i started complaining.

me: we should have picnic here la ok!
him: i told you already last time!
*digs out phone and starts calling the rest of the world.*

so THE REST, hahahaha, which is us, to everybody else who do not know, are having a picnic at the botanic gardens this saturday. and the funny part, we need to cook something to bring as potluck. hahahaha. insyallah la kan.

then monday came, i went to work literally dragging my feet which wasn't too bad since the boss was not there and it was pay day. kaching! kachingg! :))

and now is a tuesday. i only like fridays.

and and and, since the love got his iphone he was so so so desperate to log onto safari using 3G. so as usual, melanie kan very kind and helpful called and enquired but still didn't work so i used my smarty brains a little.

me: eh eh! you off and on the phone and see can or not?
him: how to off ah? the middle button ahhh?
me: LOfuckingL!

ni la sayang aku yang bodoh skali. hahaha. but i still love him many many.

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-06T17:50:00.003+08:00

it's less than 30 mins till i leave this workstation.
i've got a pounding head and i can't wait to see the love tonight.

and and, american idol is on tonight! :))))

xoxo,
princess melanie

2009-05-05T15:55:00.001+08:00

too tired to updated.
too disappointed to say anything.

will be back.

2009-04-30T18:02:00.003+08:00

and suddenly when i remove my tagboard, i become famous.

"You can talk all you want but my skin is really thick

I’m the leader of the crowd and my game is really slick

I’m unstoppable."

2009-04-30T14:51:00.002+08:00

this morning i stood in the LRT and saw this married couple bickering away. or it simply looks like the husband simply was not in the mood to entertain any of his wife's question where he shouted and was pissy at every thing she said or asked. and i really felt for her. she looked innocent and asked what she didn't know and he just raised his voice and lost his temper at her each time. and next thing i knew, they walked separate ways down the escalator to the MRT.

and it such a pity. it really got me thinking if marriage life was all the same. isn't marriage all about living happily ever after? standing my your man or wife with patience though he may be impatient or she may be a nag? and to ensure that any mistakes made before marriage is not an issue? (or has modern day living change things that everyone should die a divorcee?)

i'm hoping for the best of what there is to look for. looking forward to head home every evening to see your man and kids. making each other happy at every way possible. putting smiles on their faces and still go back to the days of how things were before marriage. and putting aside all thoughts of hurting the other and just growing old together and laugh at the younger times.

and all this i would say takes a whole load of effort and initiative. and most definitely, compromising with one another. i'm not saying that every relationship is quarrel-less and with no fights but come to think about it, are these fights and tears and raising of voices necessary? if sometimes, one could just give in to the other, put aside their ego and just think what could be done to makes things better, this world would definitely be a better place.

every relationship takes two hands to clap to make things work. and every relationship is built on trust and learning to understand one another. and that means, not giving in to temptation, accepting the other's past, respecting the in-laws and loving the other for what they are and not what you want them to be (and never ever ever try changing a person!).

and yes, one last thing, i believe that one should never control their other half too much cause controlling causes rebel which leads to lies, resulting in more tears and fights. every individual needs the alone time with their friends. and with trust, one should learn how to let go a little and pull back a little. and with trust, one should learn how to resist temptation. and if both can do that, it will work. :)

and with all these in mind, i hope for a perfect happy family, i hope to be a good wife, a good mother and a good daughter-in-law. :))

on a lighter note, its a few more hours to the long weekend. and i want to go swimming like last nighttttt!

xoxo,
your future wifey

2009-04-29T13:19:00.005+08:00

i miss my bracessss!!

anyways, last night, the love and i feeling2 romantic nak celebrate anniversary ended up at town for gelare and an impromptu movie date. and it seemed like a long long long time since i had gelare's ass-kicking waffles and it was awesomeee! well well, then we couldn't decide on borders or movie and simply bought tickets to watch this:

and this was what happened in the cinema.

me: eh! kanina, shocking or whattt!
him: you are pregnant you know! you shouldn't be watching this kinda shows.
me: your idea ah! why you closing your face?
him: actually ah, i don't like to watch gore movies. got alot of blood ah!
me: hahahahahahaha! :)))

and i was screaming so hard and squeezing his hand so tight at the same time trying to close my ears whilst this fella used his other hand to cover his face. and after a while he whispered,

"eh! don't see don't see! not good for you."
and he pulls my face towards his chest. sweet! though it lasted only 5 secs everytime and i'll pull myself up to look up to the screen.

but despite it all, we got out of the cinema safe and disgusted. and he turned to me and said,

"no more horror movies for you! and you don't go think think too much bout the movie ah. not good."
hahahaha.

ni ah future husband aku yang phobia of blood. tetapi, aku sayang kau jugak. :)))

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-04-28T13:50:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 4th MONTHSARY!

the time i spent with you seems like years. and i'm very much looking for more to come and to be officiallly yours. i love you and nothing's going to change that. and i hope you do too. :))

"nobody want to see us together;

but it don't matter, cause i got you."

xoxo,

your babylove

2009-04-27T16:01:00.003+08:00

my weekend was well spent. had a good night's sleep on friday that i woke up to a very good evening on saturday. even though is was kinda rough initially, i pulled it through. heading for bugis with the bali loves, caught a movie, walked from bugis to cathay at 2am and headed home only at 5am.

which i really think i should stop my late nights.
mum: you better catch up on your sleep. when you give birth, you'll probably have no time to even shut your eyes.
-__________-

anyways, besides that, i couldn't sleep till the evening on sunday for i had classes to attend with the love. and despite the rain after that, we lovebirds trying to be romantic, ended up at east coast for subway and seaside walks where our jokes got a bit off hand till we ended up shouting at each other. but well well, all's good now. i love him and he knows that. :))

headed for his place for parental talks which caught me pee-ing in my pants cause i'm scared of his dad and it wasn't easy for they have yet to know anything. they are still very much in the dark about what's going on between me and yan and our unborn child which freaks me out even more that his dad is rather religious and i just don't want them to think of me that way. but well well, they eventually we have to know...

it's just a matter of when.

xoxo,
his future wifey♥

2009-04-25T18:44:00.001+08:00

I CAN DO WHATEVER I LIKEEEE! ♥

2009-04-24T15:22:00.003+08:00

i found a new hangout! :))))

and since the love is doing OT tomorrow, i shall head to such places to touch up my tann if it doesn't pour. plus plus, it's only $2. hello mister sunshine, come out come out wherever you are! :)))

and miss estrop, you are coming with me. it's either here or sentosa.

xoxo,

little miss bitchy

2009-04-24T12:38:00.002+08:00

i'm definitely looking forward to the 9th. 16 hour dance party and a lingerie night in siloso beach resort with the girls. sounds like an awesome plan to celebrate the bestfriends' birthday since we both had a not so awesome party with just us. so party people, let's go let's go! :)))

last night, we caught the oh-so-fucking-hot zac effron on 17 again and it was awesomeeee! i don't know why but i was crying pails. it was like bloody sweet at the end when he read her the "letter" in tears. ishk. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT! ZAC EFFRON IS HOT!

not all bastards in our eyes; are bastards after all.

on a happier note, it's a friday. i'm going to watch the love play soccer. and and then comes the weekendddd! will probably be heading out with the bali loves to i-have-no-idea-where.

good afternoon world!
i'm heading out for lunch.

p.s: behind every successful person, lies a pack of haters.

xoxo,
mrs zakiran

2009-04-23T12:33:00.003+08:00

i'm very much disappointed with the reaction of singaporeans and their selfish self-centred thoughts. i walked into a crowded train last night heading towards yishun(nak amik yan dari kerja kan! macam good girlfriend gitu! hahahaha.) and nobody even cared to offer a seat despite noticing my tummy. and of all individuals in the damn MRT, it was a kind old frail-looking apek who got up and called my attention to take his seat. and i obviously refused knowing that he deserves the seat as much as i do. but to all the other able-bodied arsehole in the MRT, you people are just a disgust. i didn't mind standing the entire journey. but did it need to be an old uncle to offer instead of you able-bodied being? really gets me thinking.

on a happier note, i just got back from shangri-la's MICE convention showcasing all their 28 properties around the world and lucky me, i won myself a 3 days 2 nights stay at their putrajaya's hotel. which means, one more holiday coming up! and i'm getting excited already! hahahaha. yanni boy, biler dapat bonus lagi? :))))

and and, today, i can officially drive without a P plate! yay yay! though i still have some problem parking and driving uphill on the love's car. but but, so long i'm able to drive that boy around whenever he's sleepy, nothing else matters. :)

and my dear zakiran, i can't wait to see you later. i just want you to know that i'm loving you more each and every second of the day and i can't wait till the moment i'm officially yours. i've never loved anyone like i love you. and i mean what i say. xoxo.

xoxo,
your princess

2009-04-22T15:37:00.002+08:00

i haven't been able to function properly cause my mind is still stuck in bali and my body is still in motion to the waves. it was too short a trip but with many good memories. all it's kecoh-ness and friendliness and what-so-ever are somethings that can never be caught on camera but only in the mind and heart. i enjoyed myself very much and i'm definitely looking forward to the next trip. :)))

and i'm loving my dark skin and tann lines. hahahaha.

xoxo,
she-loves-her-yanni-boy

2009-04-21T15:20:00.003+08:00

18 people. 4 hotels. a whole load of booze and party madness. plus a kiss from the sun. and salt in our nose.

a picture speaks a ga-zillion ga-trillion words. we are back and we are black.

but one thing for sure, we're heading back there in a few months to come. :)))

more updates later.

2009-04-16T15:52:00.000+08:00

and to think that i was feeling lovey-dovey this morning, i think i change my mind.

2009-04-16T15:47:00.002+08:00

sometimes you just make me think twice about how you feel towards me.

some people change for the better.
but some people just show their true colours.

i just don't deserve to be treated this way. your words you use hurts me like fuck. but you just don't realise and go on and on about it. sometimes, it's just so difficult to even talk to you cause you simply jump to conclusions. you're just nice to me when you want something in return. and i hate to feel that way.

it disappoints me that we turn out this way.

i'm going to run run run and never come back.
mark my words.

2009-04-16T09:40:00.003+08:00

last night, i was doing some housekeeping on my iphone and i decided to read through the message exchange between myself and loverboy. and this dated way back to even before we got together. and it really brought smiles to my face. i'm definitely loving this man.

muhammad zakiran bin jumahat, i promise to be by your side till the end of time. i'm sorry if i've been bitchy and always asking for breakups. but that's only because i want to scare you and indirectly grab your attention. it's not because i don't love you. in fact, i'm so afraid of losing you. i'm always so paranoid and jealous when you mention names of other girls. and when i'm mad and start blabbering things about how horrible you are. i just want you to know that i don't mean what i say and i don't want you to take it to heart. i love you baby.

on a happier note, it's less than 24 hours to bali! and the baby sister is coming along. i am super sexcited. i can't wait for the day to end. :))))

2009-04-14T19:32:00.000+08:00

is happiness too much to ask for?

2009-04-14T15:42:00.002+08:00

i hate you when you raise your voice at me.
i hate you when you use those crude words at me.
i hate you when you ask me to go back to my ex-s.
i hate you when you refuse to answer my calls.
i hate you when you don't bother replying me.
i hate you when you pay no attention to me.
i hate you when you put your friends before me.

and i hate you when you really act like asshole.

asshole will forever be assholes.

2009-04-13T10:17:00.002+08:00

3 days to Bali!

wooohooo! i've been haitus mode on for the past few days. and the long weekend has been awesome. i got more than enough sleep though i still feel sleepy and time spent with the love was great. and no, i did not party and i have officially stop smoking for more than a week now. and when i say official, i mean not even a puff. JYEAH JYEAH!

and i'm drawing a conclusion that smokers are smelly.
yes they are. :)
admit it!

so i slept in on friday since the love was away at his grandad's celebrating the old man's birthday. and that boy got paranoid that i didn't answer his calls. that he called my sister which i think is cute. cause he obviously thought that i would have been at movida dancing my ass off.

"muhammad zakiran, i'm too big for that already."

and i just couldn't stop laughing about it.

and because i slept in early on a friday night, i woke up early on saturday and starting making noise that i wanted to head out. so both of us nak feeling2 romantic, naik mrt gi bugis. wanting to check out the new and oh-so-boring iluma when it started to pour so badly. and because iluma's oh-so-kickass-looking ape empire burger place was not yet officially opened, we decided on burger king instead. which meant that we had to run in the rain. and the mister feeling2 sweetheart wanted to go find an umbrella for me. sweet or whatttt! hahaha. but i ended up running in the rain instead.

and then and then, we headed to the library ah! hahahaha. and it was fun. we sat in the kids section where he sat and concentrated on his comics whilst i perangai dog at that boy and distracted him by reading some children's story books. from arthur to don't-know-what and even my all time favourite: the hungry caterpillar! hahahaha. dog!

and because we have a date with the fast and furious, we headed back to iluma. until the next 2 hours, i was busy collecting sweets and throwing tokens into the machines. it's an addiction la kan! until i got jackpot and 2 bags full of gula-gula only then i gave up.

and and, i would like to suggest that iluma's arcade install tekken's video game so that me and the love can challenge each other.
do you hear me arcadiaa?!!

and despite the long day, the boy feeling2 nak naik JB even though i could tell that he was effing shagged. but it's ok. just follow the flow and go je la kan. and this is what happened on the SLE.

me: tired nampak!
him: okok ah.
silence
him: eh baby, you drive ok? dah sampai JB i drive.
me: okkkkkkkk.

and i ended up driving him there and back. and when i say back. i mean back to tampines. cause that boy feeling2 not feeling well want to go hospital see doctor only to kena slap in the face that there's nothing wrong with him. knn, bloody 2.5 hours of waiting no joke eh. sampai can fall asleep ah gegerl!

i offically laid in bed at 4.48am and i told that boy to call me when he got home. he ksiow call me at 5.48am and when i had fallen asleep by then, he message me this.

"now where want to wait for me.
call me when you wake up k."

fuyohhhh, touching or whattt!
but it's ok, need to compromise pe. kater in a relationship. need to give in. kan kan kan?!

so we met in the evening yesterday where the boys prepared for bali by grabbing their surfboards from wandi's house. and i'm super excited la oi! hahahaha. bali la! even though it's just 3 days this time, i'm going to make full use of it.

so so back to the story, we headed for holland village cause melanie feeling2 nak makan cold rock. and ya la. call me suahku, first time in 21 years i've been there! hahahahaha.

and i think i'm talking too much ready la. happy reading.

xoxo,
princess dog-lover :)

2009-04-11T10:44:00.004+08:00

MY PIG IS UP!!!

hellooooo, shopping. :)))

2009-04-11T10:22:00.003+08:00

i'm up so motherfucking early not knowing what to do. cause the love is still asleep. i'm so damn bored that i can go crazy.

on a happier note, 5 days to this babyyyy!

OZZY OZZY OZZY!!!!!

and i need to meet chanel soon. stories woman! :)))

2009-04-08T14:25:00.004+08:00

i got my hair done.
i got my nails done.
but when i woke up this morning, it went back to what it was. :(((((

and we three pampered ourselves with our girly affair outing. and we definitely need more of that. right whores?!

and and, i've been counting down!

1 day to payday. :)))))))

2 days to the long weekend.

8 days to Bali!

9 days to miss estrop's 21st!

16 days to chanel's 21st!

i'm sexcited. and there's american idol tonight!!!

"Don’t care what no one has to say.

They don’t understand us like we do.

I need you near me night and day.

Together their ain’t nothing we can do."

2009-04-07T15:08:00.004+08:00

and if you were thinking where we got our chinese eyes and yellow skin from, it was from the mother's blood. that's my ah-beng cousin who whips up awesome, good-to-look and good-to-eat dishes. till we st james again. :))))

and how about we try dragonfly next time around? hahahahahahahah! then we will be true blue cine-fieds! :)))

anyways, melanie and her perangai babi cannot wait to do her hair at JB this saturday is heading to fareast to go something drastic to the hay on her head. NOW!

xoxo,

his wife-to-be

2009-04-06T16:27:00.002+08:00

i'm as good as tearing my blog down or at least removing the tagboard. some
readers are simply going overboard with their comments. every human being
has feelings and i don't need you to judge me. cause god will.

the weekend with the love was awesome. and sometimes i wished they never end. i spent the saturday at the loverboy's place watching sex drive, eating in and bumming around before heading towards vivo with the rest of the hardcore party people(!!!). the world was there la. and and,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SALHAN!
kau ni dah tua. and i miss mcdelivery times with you. all the best to your love life with shyanne. my player has changed for the better! hahahaha. and we need to catch up soon. xoxo.

yes yes, they were celebrating that child's birthday and i saw many other people. but because i have become a very boring person who doesn't climb up the podium the minute i enter the club anymore, me and the love left sometime before 2 leaving everyone else behind. (and thank god i left before all the drama started.) partying is just not me anymore. instead, we spent the night in each other's arm beneath the sheets. :)))

and my sunday was spent in bed all the way till 9pm when i woke up in hunger. had kickass punggol carrotcake, a dose of lion king and off back to bed. till i am starting to realise that despite sleeping too much, i am still always feeling tired. -____-

so it's a long weekend to come. and i'm super sexcited for bali! :))))

"It means no worries for the rest of your days;
It's our problem-free philosophy.
Hakuna Matata!"

2009-04-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

my self declared public holiday has been fun fun fun. and the love takes mc to not go to work. cause we have errands to run and we both have a perangai of a dog! hahahahaha. we are bitches. oh yes we are! :))))

the entire day is go here go there go here go there, eat, smoke and scold each other. and he's very irritating as usual la. you know that don't you, mister zakiran! hahaha.

so he picked me up from fullerton. then we went to polyclinic to cheat the doctor of a mc and then to KK for a bloodtest and that boy nye muka classic when the nurse was drawing his blood la! hahaha. scared of blood or what! and we had macdonalds and JB, here we comeeee!

so we walked at city square, bought himself a tshirt, had starbucks frapp with chocolate fudge cream cheese cake (eat! eat! eat!) and left for denga bay. where we walked and ended up at the arcade playing and screaming. gerek or whatttt! i love time crisis. awesome!

and the next time we go there which is next week, that boy is going to buy himself that gecko! its super cute for a cicak. and i'm excitedddd! hhahaha. and we babis went to eat at singgah selalu where we had kickass udang bijian oat and dageng bijian halia with nasi putih! woooohoooo! shiok or whattt!

and then me and my perangai dog confidence nak mampos ask loverboy go newyork hotel wash car. we got lost twice and ended up washing the car in singapore instead. hahaha. cockster. and this boy had to embarrass me at the singapore checkpoint counter!

(on the phone with sam and nic)

me: you know yan has a perangai of a dog!

yan: cause i like doggy style ah!

officer: LOL!

hahahahahah! paiseh or what!

anyways, no matter what bitch, i love you.

now i need to return to my bitching session with the other sluts/whores!

good night world.

2009-04-02T14:48:00.005+08:00

"I want to give you some love.
I want to give you some good, good loving."

i've been very cheerful and happy the past few days. and when i am happy, i tend to go on and on and on about anything and everything. so you guessed it, this is going to be a super duper long post. not happy, then don't read lor.

anyways, before i talk to much, i am going to boast to the whole world that my bali tickets are booked! woohoooo! loverboy sponsored tau! maner nak carik bf like this. hahahaha. whatever. we are going to make more babies there! kan kan kan?

and my past few days have been awesome. like totally la. cause i'm the boss at work. i come to work at my suka2 timing. and i go home at my suka2 timing and i go out in between like my father company like that. but, make use of it la kan. and tomorrow, i'm self-declaring a public holiday la. i'm going to JB with the love cause we've got errands to run in the morning and in the afternoon we like parangai dog don't go work go JB go shopping. gerek kan. hahahahaha.

and last night, i was like screaming and shouting whilst watching american idol. cause i think adam lambert is ishk! like oh my fucking hot la. even though i think he's a bit gay, it doesn't matter. it has come to a point where i watch american idol just to see his performance. i like!

ok wait. look what i just found. HE REALLY IS GAY LA! NICELY DONE. i think it's a turn on. woohooo! all the way, adam! do your thang! :)))))

and i don't know what to say anymore. i'm like speechless suddenly.

xoxo,
your angel

2009-04-01T13:56:00.002+08:00

this morning, i saw this guy in the train.

and i think he is awesomely good-looking. :)))

2009-03-31T23:54:00.002+08:00

first you go silent the entire day cause you forgot your phone. then your car is at the workshop cause the battery went flat. then you reach home only at 11. then when we speak, your bloody cordless is always dying on our conversations. and I barely hung up to speak to my mum for bloody 3 minutes, you fall asleep! what the hell do you bloody take me for? can't you even spare that few moments to shower me with some attention for having disappeared the entire day? instead i'm supposed to give in and understand that you're tired from work?!

BALLS TO YOU!

enough of bullshit! I had it with your crap and I hate you!
I HATE YOU!

2009-03-31T13:14:00.002+08:00

my boredom resulted in this:

with only less than 211 days to go till the junior pops, i'm already stressing out. not on meeting the little one. but the getting married part. my mind's made up. this is my life. and my parent's gotta except me somehow or another. now or later. in fact, they shouldn't be threatening on choosing either or, knowing that these 2 things are very important to me, my future and junior's.

your parent's or the father of your unborn child?

it's really unfair being put in this spot. i'm glad that my parent's have accepted my pregnancy. but that shouldn't be everything. in fact, they should stop telling me how to lead my life. my choice is clear and my mind's made up. and that leaves me with settling the next few of a whole long list of issues.

getting things straight to my parent's on the choice i made;
converting;
and saving up for everything.

and love,
when are you going to pop the question?
every girl wants that you know!

and then comes the tedious planning.

xoxo,
pereira melanie dulcie

2009-03-31T11:06:00.004+08:00

"Having met is a beginning;

Falling in love is progress;

Lasting together forever is success."

xoxo,

your future wifey ♥

2009-03-30T12:44:00.000+08:00

i've been sitting on this office chair for the past 5 hours trying to figure something to do. the boss is out of town. the jobs to be done are not yet pending so i shall simply brush them aside for the time being till time permits for the job to be done.

well well, i'm still recovering from the fact that i had a very disappointing weekend. the love and myself didn't spend much time together. i didn't go to my kampung which i've been making noise about. st james was awkward with the ex-boyfriend's presence. and i'm still pissed at the fact the i should have been at KM8 instead of pleasing others by heading to st james. arghhh.

and oh, i bumped into michelle at vivo, and she could've been more sincere as we spoke. pretending to look for clothes as we spoke is just downright rude. and fyi, knowing that you once made used of me, you should be glad that i even approached you cheerfully! grow up already.

laters.

2009-03-29T17:04:00.001+08:00

"and she'll continue to smile no matter how hurt she is."

2009-03-28T15:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3RD MONTHSARY!

♥,

your princess

2009-03-27T17:46:00.001+08:00

Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their
good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really
defensiveness.
People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best
and demand that their mates give in to them.
People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
People who are truly in love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.
People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.
People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you
look for trouble you will find it every time.
People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems.
People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their
happiness.
Remember there is no failure in love, because once you tell somebody
who you love, that you love him/her, then you have already succeeded in love.

do what we share is true love?

2009-03-27T17:01:00.003+08:00

with all these emotions running wild, i'm going to spend some time alone tonight. i've got a whole long list of movies, a comfortable bed and i'll be spending some time at the groceries grabbing some snacks.

PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB.

on a happier note, the boss will be away for 2 weeks as of monday. and today is a friday, it is an hour till knock off and tonight, i'm going to indulge.

"They say that girl ya know she act too tough
(tough tough)
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough
(rough rough)
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light"

2009-03-27T10:04:00.003+08:00

not too long ago, i met a man. and he was like the best thing that happened to me. but now, this man has suddenly disappeared and has turned into a monster. this monster loves to call me names and he loves to bring up about my ex-boyfriends, my past and he loves to bring me down. and it breaks my heart when he does those things. i've got feelings too. and with this child i'm carrying and the emotions that are running wild within me, it is not easy.

i want the best of everything.

and it breaks my heart to see us this way.

2009-03-26T18:04:00.003+08:00

"loving you is like a song i reply every 3 mins 30 sec and everyday."

you can say the most beautiful words and make me feel all sugar rush.
and you can say the most hurtful words that bring tears to my eyes.

i may be your queen control.
my perangai can be like a babi or a cibai.
but that's just me. and nothing's going to change that.
NOTHING!
love me for who i am; not what you want me to be.

is it so hard to be ask to be treated well?
i'm princess.
and deserves to be treated just like one and nothing less.

GET THAT STRAIGHT!

xoxo,
queen control

2009-03-25T12:31:00.005+08:00

that's my little one at 9 weeks. :)))

expected delivery date: 28-Oct-2009

and i've got them names in mind already.

♂ Christopher Raphael Bin Muhammad Zakiran

♀ Delilah Arianna Binte Muhammad Zakiran

insyahallah.

may everything from now be smooth sailing.

2009-03-25T11:27:00.003+08:00

there's so many changes going on right now. and they are moving too damn fast. and i've got a whole long list of complaints. just bare with me.

my breast is getting overly large;
i'm getting rounder and am packing on the pounds;
i feel like i'm getting shorter;
my clothes feel too tight, which is not even funny;
my body is aching so bad all the damn time;
i just feel like sleeping and never waking up;
i'm starting to dread work cause i have nothing to do;
the mood swings are really bad that i feel like screaming at everybody's face;
i can smile at cry at any one time, not knowing what to feel;
i'm confused. and i obviously know that;

and because i know that i'm down and out, i just feel like falling asleep and never ever waking up.

2009-03-24T11:33:00.002+08:00

"i want to be faithful;
but i can't keep my hands out the cookie jar."

my appointment is in 2 hours and i'm super excited. :)))
update you later.

2009-03-23T14:20:00.003+08:00

i'm a white-faced saki monkey!
hahahahaha. that's my new name that loverboy gave me. and i think it turns him on. :))))

i finally got my way and ended up at the zoo with the 3 other monkeys (loverboy, nicole and aliff!) and by 6.30pm we were all smelly and hungry from all the filth in that enclosure. and all the animals were so damn lazy and restless cause i think it's a sunday and sundays are lazy days. hahahaha. that's for me la kan. but we walked the entire zoo la oi! :)

and i had ben&jerry's double brownie thingy ice-cream and it was awesomeeeee! and then we headed for downtown. poor aliff had to go back to camp and then it was left with me nicole and loverboy and miss samantha called and we rushed her down by cab cause we told her that it was another 7 more persons to our turn and it turned out that we had to continue waiting for more that an hour even after she came. and we had bowling! even though i suck. at everything.

i sucked at pool.
i sucked at bowling.
period.
but i'm good at something else. right love?

so i gave up playing after a while. cause my backside hurt and i started limping. cause melanie is now like an old woman. she is only good at eating and nagging. right yan? i knowwww. it's ok. you gotta love me stilll. hahahaha.

and i don't know what to say anymore but i can go on and on. and before i start getting irritating, i shall stop typing and think of what me and love shall have for dinner. :)))

we are having family time tonight.
please do not disturb.

note: please do not complain if there ain't no pictures from the zoo cause it's all in loverboy's camera and he doesn't know how to zip and forward to me via msn. :)

2009-03-23T12:14:00.003+08:00

hello hello! i'm very proud of my 'little grown up woman' of mine! :)))

VOTE VOTE VOTE!
click the above to vote! :)))

to everybody else, be jealous. the pereira sisters are going to take over the world! hahaha. now you know why powerpuff girls is spelt with a 'P'?!

hahahahaha.
feeling2 sket la eh!

2009-03-21T03:49:00.002+08:00

I'm going to bed a happy woman. :)

cause Bali is confirmed,
cause I made advance order of macdonalds breakfast to wake up to,
and cause I just had the most awesome 2 hours.

good night world.

2009-03-20T17:48:00.003+08:00

the countdown has started! i want to go homeeeee! it's more of "i want to get the fuck out of here!" it's a friday! yay yay! the weekends are drawing near. tomorrow's saturday and then on sunday i'm going to the zoo. you know why? cause me love animals. me animal-lover. hahahahaha.

macam paham.

anyways, i'm going to meet the girls in a bit for some craziness and our crazy kickass plan to go to bali! hahahahaha. hopefully i get to smell mbargo again and this time see the sunset when i'm there. woohooo! i'm like so excited already la. and then and then, loverboy's asking me to KM8 tonight for lan's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAN! :))

and and the love asked me out for a midnight movie tomorrow night. hahahaha. (i'm like writing a whole report on him and feeling semangat like a child that some boy asked me out.) well well, i think he's been writing in that little "things to do" note book that i found by his bedside. hahahahaaha. so the cute right! kater sayangku kan!

and i just lost my train of thought.

muhammad zakiran, i'm sorry if im been a nag and been super unreasonable lately! and i know you just feel like shoving your cock in my mouth to shut me up at times. but i want you to know that i love you. and indirectly i'm trying to change you to be a more patient man and and at the same time preparing you to be my lawful husband no matter how much i'll nag in the future! hahahaha. i love you pakcik.

cheers to more good lovin! :)))

time check: 6.17pm.
i'm so outta here!

xoxo,
miss talk-too-much

2009-03-20T16:18:00.002+08:00

1. Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
not really cause i was still angry from last night.

2. When was the last time you met someone new?
i meet new people everyday. :)

3. When did you last eat pizza?
could it be a long time ago. and i'm starting to crave for one now.

4. Do you drink beer?
i ♥ bintang!

5. Do you wash your own clothes?
hahahahahahaha. no. and to think i'm becoming a mother soon. i'm useless.

6. Are you any good at poker?
i always wanted to learn how to strip poker.

7. What do you want more than anything?
i want my little ones to be twins. one boy. one girl. :))))

8. Are you tired?
very. all the time.

9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
my photo wall. makes me smilee.

10. Pepsi or Coke?
coke.

11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
yeah. more than once. fuckers!

12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
yeah.

13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
i love ronalddd!

14. Are you restless?
easily. so i talk alot.

15. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
desktop. it's huge though! showoff. :)

16. How many friendster views do you have?
i haven't opened friendster in ages. old school la beb!

17. Want to be a prince/princess?
i'm princess lorrrr!

18. Do you believe dreams come true?
yeah. that's why there's dejavu!

19. Last song you heard?
love comes again - DJ tiesto

20. Do you like Batman?
no. i prefer blackman. he know who he is! hahaha.

21. Who is in the room with you?
many other people.

22. What r u wearin on ur foot?
nothing?

23. What was the last thing you ate?
starfruit! with the masam2!

24. What were you doing before this?
bloghopping. as usual.

25. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
my waterbottle.

26. In your opinion what is the weirdest thing listed on goofysicons.com?
never been there.

27. What instant messaging service do you use?
useless MSN for mac that can't effing webcam!

28. What is ur fav website?
http://paulamatin.blogspot.com

29. Whose house were you at last night?
ader ah! hahahaha.
eh yan! paranoid nampak! i was at home la. :))

30. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
none?

31. What is the last movie you watched?
dragonball! i am chi chi!

32. What do you currently hear right now?
anna's voice.

33. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
no bloody idea man!

34. Where's your favorite place to be?
punggol end! hahahahaha.
*kening naik naik*

34. Have you ever heard of the band Our Lady Peace?
kinda.

35. Where do you sleep?
on my princess throne! :)

36. Where do you shop the most?
cotton on and c.o.a.x.

37. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
cotton on!

38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
coach purseeeee! *ahem*

39. Are you happy with where you are?
very very much!

40. Do you believe that you can change someone?
yes! i am going to make him into one patient bugger!

41. What are you going to do after you do this survey?
think of what to do next.

2009-03-19T17:46:00.004+08:00

"you spin my head right round right round;
when you go down, when you go down downnnn."

i think i'm very cheeky and very the mengatal with loverboy. hahahaha. he's my boyfriend pe. if not then nak gatal ngan siape kan. anyways, i'm bored. i'm supercalifragilisticexpialidociously bored. (minahs, if you don't know what that meant, you're stupid. why wouldn't i be surprise anyways.)

so let me tell you a story.

every weekday, at this time, i will have the tendency to count down to 6.15pm, since that's my official knock off time. but when 6.15 approaches, i do not leave on the dot cause i never like to look that i'm so keen to go home and be like those kiasus rushing to the lift, plus most of the people NEVER leave on the dot and i don't want to paiseh myself. so i usually sit around for an extra 5 mins or so.

and i also don't know what i'm typing this.

anyways, i'm tempted for bali trippin' next month but the flight schedules are being irritating and i'm supposed to be saving for baby clothes, milk, pampers and milk bottles instead. and did i forget strollers, walkers, babycot and everything else?

so given that, i should just shut my mouth or shut my brains on even thinking of a trip to somewhere. unless loverboy have like extra extra la kan. (yan, i know you are reading this, and i am very clearly hinting for you to take me away. hahahaha. i love you).

and if you are wondering why i am talking too much is because i am trying to end this post exactly at 6.15 so that i can go home. and not pretend like i am busy cause i really got nothing to do and i don't know what to pretend doing anymore.

by the way, i need to say this. i am craving for spaghetti bolognaise cause on sunday when myself, yan and nicole had swensen's, my order for that did not turn up. and i've been very depressed. in fact i've been depressed since my birthday!

for my 21st,

i did not have a proper cake. i didn't get a chance to blow candles on my birthday! i didn't get any presents. i had to treat everyone to dinner and when we were at swensen's the following week, my food i ordered wasn't served, no body sang me a song and i didn't get to eat my firehouse birthday ice-creammmmmmm!

ok, goodbye. it's 6.15! finally.

btw, i've been thinking of names for my little one already. :))))

2009-03-19T12:00:00.001+08:00

Your score is 50%. Congratulations! According to the Old Wives it's a boy!

yay yay!

i'm so excited. i can't wait for an ultrascan. :)))

anyways, it's lunch time. and i'm craving qiji's nasi lemak with lotsa sambal. ishk ishk ishk!

2009-03-18T19:42:00.002+08:00

i'm soft and smooth now. :)
but I'm not done with what I have to say.

continuation of earlier post:
in the bloody first place, this boy is my boyfriend now, and he is the father of my child. so why are you idiots so bloody protective of me and concern as you claim to be. he is mine. and that's my choice! not yours and will never be. so why do you all want to be so caring towards by bringing that fella down. this is my life. I make my choice. and I don't need any of these fucking bullshits! cause I believe in myself. I know what I'm doing, I trust my instincts and I do not need you to interfere.

FYI, god gave me brains to think, a heart to follow and both to make decisions of my own. he didn't create you to be a makcik kaypo!

now, get the fuck out of here. will ya?!

xoxo,
princess-pissed-off

2009-03-18T17:12:00.003+08:00

note to all:
i'm not going to abort my little one no matter what. like i said, over my dead body. so stop going on about it. but whether or not i stay as a single mum or eventually marry loverboy, that shouldn't be an issue to anyone. cause i make my own choices and i need not heed your advices. and fyi, that bugger has been very supportive of my decision ever since. he has been taking every opportunity to make sure that i am fine and am doing well pregnant. the child is also his afterall. and i know he will be a good father. so stop it with the rubbish that loverboy is what you people think. cause he is just as excited to be a parent as i am. and he's the one that has been planning on looking at baby stuffs lately.

everybody has a past; which plays a part in moulding your future.

i can practically go on and on about this. but, what's the point when it doesn't seem to get into anybody's thick skull.
plus, i'm this close to closing down this page!
UGHHHHH!

on a lighter note,

i have an appointment tonight to drip hot wax down my pussy and it's gonna be as smooth as a baby's skin.

to myself; i can't wait to feel sexy!
to him; you need to be rewarded.
to everyone else; be jealous.

2009-03-17T18:15:00.003+08:00

and loverboy has been working so damn hard lately that he is so damn busy that he has no damn time to text me any damn more.

and by the damn time he gets home, he is so damn tired that he has to damn bloody fall asleep on the damn phone 90% of the damn time.

and i have to damn bloody understand.

2009-03-17T16:15:00.003+08:00

i swear my morning sickness is not morning sickness. it's on full day mode and the feeling is super horrible. and if that's not bad enough, it's way worst when i suddenly burst out in cold sweat and feel faint. i just hope to get this over and done with soon.

i'm only at 8 weeks. there is another 34 to go!

i just can't wait for him/her to pop out. :))))

and all my worries will go away.

hopefully i get to know the gender by the next tuesdayyyyy.

motherhood seems awesome;

at least till he/she starts to talk then i'll throw all responsibilities to loverboy.

isn't that what fathers are for?

2009-03-13T17:26:00.004+08:00

everybody makes mistakes.
no one is perfect.
but why are you people keep saying stuffs about him?
doesn't everybody deserve a second chance?
you people keep telling me that i deserve better.
but, have you thought, maybe i don't deserve these words from you at all.
i would be denying if those words don't affect me,
even if i let it not to.

but, i'm just human.
just like each one of you.

stop brain washing me.

2009-03-13T16:50:00.001+08:00

i've never felt so fucked up in my life.

fuck off people. just fuck off.

IS THIS REALLY MY DESTINY?

2009-03-13T08:58:00.002+08:00

lately,
I've been paranoid.
I've been thinking twice bout what I'm going to do next.
I've been easily agitated.
I've been digging every fault possible.

tell me it's the hormones and these feelings will go away soon.

I want the best of both worlds.
I think I deserve to be treated better.
And all these comments are affecting me.
somehow or another.

and, are you finally showing your true colours?

it may not be a happy ending like I thought it to be.

2009-03-12T16:27:00.003+08:00

i hate you last night.
cause you hunged up on me,
gave me a damn attitude,
AND FELL ASLEEP!

how bigger of an asshole can you get!

him: i'm sorry. blah3.
me: ahhh k.
him: so what did you go last night? :)
me: i went to hell to find you.

BE NICE TO ME!
will you?

2009-03-11T22:49:00.000+08:00

is this my destiny?

2009-03-11T21:31:00.003+08:00

the non-stop eating has not ended. in fact, the cravings has just begun.

i'm a pig.

but, my bf is a wild boar.

2009-03-10T14:07:00.005+08:00

KL was awesoomeeeee! cause we were the biggest idiots you can find in the streets of KL, the biggest eaters, the biggest perangai babi and the biggest of the biggest in anyway you can think of. we sleep, eat, shop, eat, talk, eat, sleep, eat, party, eat, make noise, eat. everything is eat eat and eat. we will buy everything our hands can hold. and i'm referring to food. but for paola is different. that woman bought like the entire sungei wang. those bags in the picture is all hers. she is like shopping giler babiiiii la! hahahahahaha.

and we suahkus went for fish spa while that paola was shopping and shopping and shopping. we were like idiots giggling and laughing and getting terrified and paranoid at how big those fishes were. it was so funny. and we had a foot massage after like 20 mins of those ikans. and the bloody massage was so effing pain that i was prepared to kick the woman in her face with my other foot. and the reason she gave me.

"awak ni banyak angin."

ye la tu.

and despite all this perangai babis, they still did me proud. depsite dancing like idiots on the visa advertisment 'no money in malaysia", this people bought me a cake la oi. even if im going to admit that the cake was horrible, it was the thought that counts right? and i love my those 2 bitches. and you all know that. and obviously partying was fun fun fun. kater party animals we are! hahahahahaha.

but no matter what, i love this fella most. even though he has been an idiot lately and the perangai like even more babi than anything, i love him. i know my perangai is way worst but you can blame me right! it's the hormones okkkkkk.

like in marley and me,

"you! you bastard, you did this to me!"

hahahahahaha.

i love you pakcik.

and i know you do too.

xoxo,

princess melanie ♥

2009-03-09T09:28:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

I'm back!!!

2009-03-06T18:08:00.002+08:00

to those who have put an extra effort to text me, to support me, to comfort me a little or even leave a little comment or at least had a thought of providing me with a little tap on the shoulder, thank you.

that's all that i ask for.

4 hours till we leave for KL.

2009-03-06T10:11:00.004+08:00

queen: so your father say you have something to tell me?
me: nothing la.
queen: i want to hear it from you.
me: ok. i am pregnant.

queen: i want you to think of what you really want to do before making any decisions.
me: i am not going to abort. final answer.
queen: i'm not asking you to abort. i want you to think of how you are going to bring up the child.

queen: how long have you been seeing him?
me: not very long.
queen: how well do you know him?
me: quite well.
queen: how well do you know his family?
me: okok ah. i have gone out with his parents.

queen: i just want you to know that i don't want you to force yourself or him into marriage because of this child. i don't want you to suffer later. this is a life long decision you are talking about. the child is innocent. this took 2 hands to clap. and i'm not pushing the blame onto you or him. this is an accident that had happened. a mistake. i don't want one mistake of yours to lead to more mistakes. i hope you understand.
me: ok.
queen: and i have brought you up for coming 21 years as a catholic and you just want to convert like that?
me: it's the best way right?
queen: like i say, think.

and she left me hanging.

2009-03-05T19:48:00.000+08:00

WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BITCH?!

2009-03-05T14:13:00.003+08:00

fyi, men are bastards.
i was NOT referring to yan.

I WAS REFERING TO MY FATHER!
and how he made me feel.

i shouldn't be saying such things but those words you said just won't get out of my head. why do you have to be so cruel? am i asking to much?

2009-03-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

on a lighter note, i should be looking forward to KL
and
my contract is getting extendedddddd!

at least i have a job to help me save.
more money = more honey = i can run further.

:)))))))))

2009-03-05T11:27:00.004+08:00

king: don't jump into conclusions. go abort it la melanie.
me: no way. over my dead body.
king: come on la.
me: did you have intentions to abort me as well?
king: is this suppose to be revenge?
me: no. it was my mistake and i'm going to face it. aborting is not the solution. never will it be.

me: i know what i want to do.
king: what?
me: i'm going to keep him/her and get married.
king: then your studies?
me: i'll forgo them.
plus it's not as if you people will support my education right?

me: and i'm going to convert.
king: no. you're a borned catholic.
me: but i want to.
king: i don't know la. that you talk to your mother.
me: i'm talking to you cause i can't talk to mummy.
king: and where am i going to put my face?

is your face more important than my happiness?

king: how am i going to face people?

king: why are you talking on behalf of him?
me: cause if he was here, this would end up differently.
king: so?
me: so i told him that i would talk to you first.
king: i want to talk to him, man-to-man.

king: how old is he?
me: 25
king: what is he working as?
me: in a shipyard.
king: can he meet my demands or not? hantaran and all?

king: this is like retribution!

for your own mistakes.
do i need list down?

god damn you! this is not about you! it's about me and my happiness. why can't you just fucking see that i love yan, i know what i want to do and i have not even the slightest thought of abortion! i want to convert, i want to marry yan and live happily ever after. even if we have to go through all the hardships in time to come.

don't all parents want to see their children happy?
if god can accept people from other religions, the lepers and the beggars,
you cannot accept your own daughter?
because you are embarrassed?

you should be ashamed of yourself.
very much.

2009-03-05T08:45:00.001+08:00

men are bastards.
All of them.
they may be the nicest creatures at any one time. but ALL of them are downright assholess!

I'm gonna run run run;
& never coming back back back.

2009-03-04T11:47:00.003+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY WISHLIST

DSLR Camera
Holiday getaway to Boracay / Phuket
Suzuki Swift
Eclispe & Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Mayer
Branded Bags
Coach Wallet
Adidas / Baby-G watch
32' LCD TV + DVD Player
Anna Sui's Sui Dreams
New Dresses

and the list of materialistic items just won't stop.

but, my only wish for my birthday is for my parents to accept me, to accept yan and to accept their grandchild. and nothing else would matter.

lately, my mind is so filled with problems. one after another. i know what i want. but i just don't know what i want is what others want. life has been very complicating. and it's not so simple as it seems. i've been wanting to let my parents know what is going on but i just don't know how to speak to them. my mom does not talk, she shouts. my dad is drunk & loco most of the time.

and i actually took the courage to call a counselling hotline. i'm going to be brave and make an appointment with them. i need someone to talk to. a 3rd party who is matured and experienced enough to tell me what to do next and how to move on from this. i'm stuck in a hole which is just getting deeper.

i need to get this load of my shoulders.

i'm this close to losing my mind.